Thursday was rough. I was tired from a late workout on Weds night, got some news about my Mom’s mom’s health and now have to go to VA then NC to check that situation out and support my mom. This entailed cancelling a much anticipated trip to Minneapolis…I feel so selfish. Anyway, I realized this was a prime TRIGGER time for overeating. I felt compelled to eat, put something yummy in my pie-hole to combat my anxiety and annoyance. I didn’t. Even last night when I could’ve eaten a whole pizza, I didn’t.

We had a cocktail party and I DID chow on some chicken nugget things a couple of mini eggrolls and then I left. I avoided the beer (hmmmm…..beer, the wine….hmmmmm wine) and opted for water. I also had a craving for a soda yesterday, but again, decided that maybe I was just thirst in general so got a huge bottle of water and downed it and it helped. I gave myself a “star” for winning yesterday’s battle with emotional overeating.

Update: The evening went on to get worse after a phone call with someone I am digging a lot, (way past crush status) went south of the border, and not in a good way. I was startled that our call ended so abruptly that I still can’t really pinpoint what happened. Fortunately, though somewhat upset about that, it was my bedtime so I didn’t have occassion to get up and eat through that upset either.

I think also that I’m getting signs from the Universe that I need to leave everything and everyone in the romantic realm ALONE. I’m an eternal optimist and I’ve never been where I am now in terms of dating/relating…which is pretty effen DONE. Like not even mad, not despondent, nothing devastating has happened, but for all the energy, hope, analysis and time we spend trying to build relationships what do we get? I’m not sure. Or maybe it’s just me. I have good relationships with my family, great friends, a couple of exes that I still love to jibber-jabber with, but maybe I’m just not relationship material. I’m tired of working to prove trustworthiness because someone else has broken your heart, I’m through jumping through hoops to prove my affection because others have played hard to get, I don’t “test” people and I don’t play games. But I DO require respect, good communication and a clear idea of what you want.

So…I really WANT to be done. Like I don’t even WANT to be attracted to or interested in anyone, I want to be focused on working out, work, financial goals, fun hobbies and continued personal and professional development.

All that to say, I’m proud that I’m learning how to not let my emotions drive me to the refrigerator!

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